Silence or speaking up-which way to choose?

There will be times when you will be speaking the truth and nobody will believe you, and then, there will be times when you won’t be able to speak about it and many people would like to know about it.

Society works like this only. People have the tendency to go against your free will. They would like you to explain yourself in front of them to do something that is your right, like they are an authority over you. You really owe explanations to a few people including your family members and closest friends for a few of your actions that may affect them directly or indirectly, but what about other friends who just observe what you do and have something to say about it always even when nothing you do concerns them? What if your neighbourers or colleagues want to know the deals going on in your life with others despite you trying to keep it private from them? AND what if you want to tell something to any of them, and none of them believes what you have to say? It certainly becomes exhausting when others think that they know your truth or THE TRUTH better than you do. You try to explain yourself over and over again, everybody turns a deaf ear to you but when you get tired of all the things you go through and turn silent, then all of a sudden the same people who disregard your truth become interested in knowing why you became so silent.

black and white black and white depressed depression
Silence is not always peaceful, sometimes it kills you from the inside-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

Due to this kind of communication gap and lack of understanding and timing, people go through episodes of depression as they are unable to share their problems openly to anyone at the right time bravely (fear of judgements) but when they learn to live with those problems or solve them on their own, then others want to know about them just out of curiosity. Those who really lend an ear do not do it out of curiosity but for understanding the other person but those people are rare to find. A person may shut out and shut down due to fear of being misunderstood or misjudged and it may lead to further misunderstandings with even those people and at those place where they were never meant to happen.

What to do when you have something to say and you feel like you have lost your voice as you think that nobody is going to believe you? PLEASE, SPEAK UP ! As simple as that.

angry woman yelling into loudspeaker on blue background
Speak up your mind, loud and crystal clear-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

I am writing this out of experience. Speak your truth whenever you feel that the opportunity is right. Do not let your anxiety stunt your mind or shun your own voice. It may lead to depression and further anxiety. Do not think that you will look or sound like a fool. Be polite first. Talk sense. Think if it’s logical and factual or not. Even if it is not, just say it. You can keep a disclaimer with whatever you express about its uncertainty as well. No need to over-think for too long that it becomes too late to talk about. Other people may take advantage of your silence and it may yield to your disadvantage in ways you cannot comprehend whilst staying silent. Talk to a trusted person first of all, then to the people who you intend to divulge your information or truth to. Be crystal clear in whatever you want to let out of your mouth. When you are completely clear about what you want to say, others can grasp it; if you keep beating around the bush, then most certainly people are not going to take it as the truth. But say it anyway. Different people have different ways, so do you but do it at the right time or you may repent later that you missed the right time and lost a lot with your silence. You have the freedom of speech, use it ! Nobody is important enough to shun you out of your truth.

love your life clipboard decor
Life is too short to not speak up your mind; when it will end, nobody will know what you had in store-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

Karl Marx’s end goal-realistic or idealistic?

The dream of a classless and stateless society and a fixed roadmap towards the fulfilment of that goal may remind one of the genius of the first Marxist Karl Marx. Surely, his interpretations of history and class struggle and social discrepancies were skewed towards economic conditions of those times but one who has studied Karl Marx in depth cannot deny that he was both a realist and a utopian idealist. A realist because he depended his theories around the industrial revolution and capitalism rising scenarios which were quite factual of his times, although he forgo a big part of human motivations like culture, communitarianism, geographical conditions and psychology and changes in those spheres with changed areas of locality or nationality, yet he was quite good at planning his theory of class struggle in the history as well as his contemporary times around two existing classes. But when he talked about and interpreted a classless and stateless society, one could easily take him as a utopian theorist because first of all, state was made for the management of the masses and if there would have been a stateless society, there would have been much despised anarchy everywhere and the discrimination that he sought to end could get elevated; secondly, the means he talked about to reach that end i.e. revolution by the proletariat against the bourgeoisie, somehow after being in power the proletariat could take the character of the bourgeoisie and would have begun to abuse that economic power in their hands, thus still the struggle would have persisted with the places exchanged between haves and have-nots where only the people would have exchanged their positions yet the characters of exploitation by haves of have-nots staying stuck that pattern only. The idea of a classless and stateless society was undoubtedly praise-worthy but in a society where the human motivation is not only determined by economic factors but also by the greed to be in power over others, it was certainly utopian because no matter how many people be egalitarian in their approach, still the forces who want to over-power others sustain in society contradictorily to the former and which can be meted out with the struggle for power since times immemorial.

A good life partner for people with high conscience- Behavioural Analytical View.

A good life partner is someone almost everybody desires at some point of his/her life. The definition of a ‘good life partner‘ is something subjective to every person, and so is about who ideally the right one. But what is that common characteristic trait or pattern that you should really seek in a life partner and how can you identify the same? Let’s discuss it here in depth-

crop elegant ethnic woman embracing male beloved

A good test of knowing who is the right one for you is that the wrong one will keep you stuck or bring your ego (rational part of consciousness) to your id level i.e. seduction, sex, jealousy, vengeance, anger, insignificant or one-sided or two or multi-faceted competition, aggression, physical neediness and desires. That actually is already in you by birth, which is later on suppressed due to development of healthy ego (rationality). It does not need to be evoked by someone else. If a person evokes any of these desires in you more than you need to, then that person is not the right one for you, because if you stay inclined to this state of mind for the majority of span of time or energy, then you can barely do something that your super-ego wants you to do.

Specially when you have developed knowledge of your own super-ego i.e. your morals, values, principles, what makes you feel guilty, conscientiousness, etc., and you live in this realm most of the time, then it is difficult for you to shift your energy towards id. Release of id is also important but the right person for you will never drive you in that state forcefully and will not behave in such a way that brings your focus (ego’s work) to id every now and then, with fluctuations in his/her own behaviour.

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This analysis is just a small portion of the whole criteria that one can set for recognizing the right partner for them. We will discuss more later on.

How the existing generations are weak mentally?

Ever thought how weak and petty we as a whole of existing generations have become? We get depressed on very minor things, that too very soon. You did not get good marks, a job, some money, got rejected, felt unloved or did not get a specific desired result in any realm of life, you just drop your whole vibe instantly.

photo of man touching his head

Why? Don’t you think that you have become really weak mentally? Is life all about this petty stuff? Do you ever get out of the things that only serve you? Why so much of selfishness? I know we are all selfish and must be to some extent but what I observe is that we are too selfish to be tolerated by others. In the ancient and medieval times, our ancestors worked so hard, that too, for the betterment of human beings as a whole. They lived for themselves for sure, they too were selfish, but not as much as we have become. They were very strong people. There were great difficulties in their life. There was little to no knowledge of medicine(allopathy), no technology, little to no communication outside one’s tribe; they had to fight even for basic neccessities of life. We are in comparison to them manifolds privileged yet manifolds petty mentally. Their mental strength was commendable, capable of breaking mountains which they literally did. For us? who find it difficult to drive a car or bike or anything for a couple of hours. Sometimes even picking up a tv remote is too difficult. We have evolved into lazy, procrastinating, weak people. Not all, but a large majority of people is.This really exasperates me because we are not even soft. Many of us won’t mind even killing somebody for serving their selfish motives, if it was legal. Our minds play tricks on us and it’s not about a few people only, our collective consciousness has grown weaker with time. Soft by heart yet strong by mind is something really commendable (though heart pumps only blood, but I had to use it as a clichè.) We don’t move with purpose, we move on adopted patterns of society. There are bigger things that we are too afraid of doing, because they involve a mass of people who cannot give us anything in return and we don’t want to do something which does not serve us. Even if we do, we do it to show it to others that how helpful we are. Moreover, people have become so delicate mentally that whenever they go through any emotionally chaotic situation and they, more or less, have to go through it because nothing can be done about it, they think or say that they survived. I really want to ask them what they survived actually?? There were times in history when the words “I survived” were used to describe survival of human beings in jungles having no food, clothing or shelter, and the survival during wars, drought, flood, plague, holocaust, etc. In the contemporary times, when we are way too privileged than our previous generations, people say that they survived only when they have to go through even a single failure be it in career or relationships or otherwise. I can only say in the end that Science and technology is getting better and we, regarding personal mental capabilities, are being worse, or to say again, too weak, shallow and petty.

GOAL ACHIEVEMENT- Most Basic Requirements.

Some of us have dreams but many of us do not turn them into goals and achieve them. Why does this happen?? It happens because people feel energetic about their dreams for once, go for it, get exhausted and then give upon it forever. So, What is actually required to achieved your dreams? Let’s discuss-

1.SELF-EVALUATION(EXACT KNOWLEDGE OF WHERE ONE STANDS.)

2.GRIT.

3.CONSISTENCY.

4.CONFIDENCE AND COURAGE.

5.OPEN-MINDEDNESS.

1. SELF-EVALUATION(EXACT KNOWLEDGE OF WHERE ONE STANDS)- A big majority of people get boosted with their desire to succeed or achieve their dreams, watch innumerable motivational videos, become extremely enthusiastic about putting in the efforts to achieve that one dream but still they fail and fall. Why does this happen? It happens because they have not evaluated themselves about exactly where they stand on their path to success. They do not measure how much efforts they need to put into that one dream. They do not consider how many resources, which kind of resouces, time, energy and opportunity they are currently having. If you have too less of time according to your current mental or physical energy, believe me, even if you put all of your sweat and blood into a goal, it’s highly likely for you to fail at it (tried and tested). Do not go for trial and error method. Most of the people will motivate you to try for something over and over again, maybe they will consider you weak for taking a pause, but do not listen to anyone. Consider all of your resources really well. Do not care about anyone’s opinion. Take help if you need. Seek guidance from those who have already passed that level. Do not be over-confident or under-confident that either it’s only you alone who can do that or it’s you who can never do that even with enough support but you really need to evaluate What exactly you want to do, how to do it, and when and in what ways to do it.

person writing on notebook

When it’s your dream, the ways also should be yours only-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

2.GRIT- When you have evaluated yourself and your resources and have made the whole plan about how to achieve a goal, then it’s the grit that will keep you going. You will have a lot of obstacles in your path. You are not the only one. Everyone has to face obstacles, you may have to face comparatively more or less of them but it’s only your sense of grit that will keep you going in that direction. Here, I want to add that Grit does not require you to not take a pause, it does not demand you to keep going even after complete exhaustion; if you think that it means something like that, then you need to reconsider your understanding about it. You can enjoy your path, take pauses, be happy, love your journey and still keep going towards your goal relentlessly; some days you may put a lot of efforts, some days very little and some days not at all but if you are still having that goal(s) in your mind and you want to do something about it, you are having grit. Take your time, it’s your journey, not anyone else’s.

man in white jersey while running

Grit does not have to be painful, easy-going attitude also has grit in it-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

3. CONSISTENCY- How regular you are about putting in efforts to your goals plays a major role in how far you are to them. If you jump from one goal to another without accomplishing the previous one sometimes, then it’s fine; but if you keep on doing it every time it gets a little difficult, then my friend, you are not consistent enough. You need to make a habit of touching upon each of your goals (if you have more than one) regularly, be it in alteration or daily time management inculcating steps to achieve all of them. Even if you feel like giving up, please do. Go ahead with another one but please, be consistent on that another one, do not keep on juggling between different goals failing at each one of them whenever they require some extra efforts. That kind of inconsistency leads you to only exhaustion, thus making you feel lesser confident about yourself that you are unable to achieve any goal.

person in brown coat holding a news paper

Efforts-exhaustion-pause-efforts is the right pattern for consistency-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

4.CONFIDENCE AND COURAGE- Courage is so crucial to achieve any goal, big or small. It needs you to tackle with your own fears first of all and then any kind of external influences or forces or obstacles in your path. Also, confidence goes hand-in-hand with courage. If you would get swayed by people’s opinions about your efforts, direction or pause, then it will be really hard for you to achieve that goal. Stay strong. Know what you are doing and what you will be doing. You do not have to think what others have to think or say about you. You also do not need to explain yourself. Have the courage to go past your own limits. First know your limits and then try to push through them but do not beat yourself up every time you cannot make through it; we all have our weaknesses too, and feeling weak is also a part of your courage, which not many people can realize.

man in blue suit

Once you fall, have the courage to stand up again and move forward in your decided direction and enough confidence that you can succeed-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

5.OPEN-MINDEDNESS- You may have any kind of goal and your own path but always keep in mind that other kinds of goals and paths also exist and the different ways to attain your own goal as well. There are people out there who have already done what you want to do, and they might have better ways to do it. You can always learn from others. Also, there may be some ways that you or nobody else could think of that can prove to be of great help to you. If you feel like other ways are not going to suit you, considering your own life’s situations’ evaluation, then it’s fine, you know well and you can silence other people’s suggestions in your mind but also there is no harm in giving it a thought for once, you never know which method can suit you better. Do not be too narrow-minded that only you know the best, you may know better but not always the best. Also, if you feel like giving up for a while, feel free to do so. Adopt other patterns, methods, goals etc. Nobody’s judgements matter unless you judge yourself as a failure for adopting and assimilating something different in your life.

dreamy woman talking on smartphone while lying in hammock

Life is a journey and you can always revert back to what you want the most. Keep your mind open about experimentation-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

If you really want to achieve your goals, have them firmly set and persistently chased, pausing in between is fine but do not quit on them unless you put a good thought into changing them completely.