Silence or speaking up-which way to choose?

There will be times when you will be speaking the truth and nobody will believe you, and then, there will be times when you won’t be able to speak about it and many people would like to know about it.

Society works like this only. People have the tendency to go against your free will. They would like you to explain yourself in front of them to do something that is your right, like they are an authority over you. You really owe explanations to a few people including your family members and closest friends for a few of your actions that may affect them directly or indirectly, but what about other friends who just observe what you do and have something to say about it always even when nothing you do concerns them? What if your neighbourers or colleagues want to know the deals going on in your life with others despite you trying to keep it private from them? AND what if you want to tell something to any of them, and none of them believes what you have to say? It certainly becomes exhausting when others think that they know your truth or THE TRUTH better than you do. You try to explain yourself over and over again, everybody turns a deaf ear to you but when you get tired of all the things you go through and turn silent, then all of a sudden the same people who disregard your truth become interested in knowing why you became so silent.

black and white black and white depressed depression
Silence is not always peaceful, sometimes it kills you from the inside-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

Due to this kind of communication gap and lack of understanding and timing, people go through episodes of depression as they are unable to share their problems openly to anyone at the right time bravely (fear of judgements) but when they learn to live with those problems or solve them on their own, then others want to know about them just out of curiosity. Those who really lend an ear do not do it out of curiosity but for understanding the other person but those people are rare to find. A person may shut out and shut down due to fear of being misunderstood or misjudged and it may lead to further misunderstandings with even those people and at those place where they were never meant to happen.

What to do when you have something to say and you feel like you have lost your voice as you think that nobody is going to believe you? PLEASE, SPEAK UP ! As simple as that.

angry woman yelling into loudspeaker on blue background
Speak up your mind, loud and crystal clear-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

I am writing this out of experience. Speak your truth whenever you feel that the opportunity is right. Do not let your anxiety stunt your mind or shun your own voice. It may lead to depression and further anxiety. Do not think that you will look or sound like a fool. Be polite first. Talk sense. Think if it’s logical and factual or not. Even if it is not, just say it. You can keep a disclaimer with whatever you express about its uncertainty as well. No need to over-think for too long that it becomes too late to talk about. Other people may take advantage of your silence and it may yield to your disadvantage in ways you cannot comprehend whilst staying silent. Talk to a trusted person first of all, then to the people who you intend to divulge your information or truth to. Be crystal clear in whatever you want to let out of your mouth. When you are completely clear about what you want to say, others can grasp it; if you keep beating around the bush, then most certainly people are not going to take it as the truth. But say it anyway. Different people have different ways, so do you but do it at the right time or you may repent later that you missed the right time and lost a lot with your silence. You have the freedom of speech, use it ! Nobody is important enough to shun you out of your truth.

love your life clipboard decor
Life is too short to not speak up your mind; when it will end, nobody will know what you had in store-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

HEALTHY COMPETITION- What is it and how to be a healthy competitor?

battle black blur board game
“Compete with purpose, or not at all”-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

Competition is in all of us, whether one admits abour it or not. Some are openly competitive and some secretly. Some people find competition in minor things and some compete for big goals. Some people compete with one or two people and some with a block of population or in their guild.

But..How many people are healthy competitors or have healthy competition streak?? You must think about it. Let’s crack the code.

DECLARED VERSUS UNDECLARED COMPETITION-

basketball team stacking hands together
Well defined competitions are well competed-Your Choicest Lifestyle.

When a competition is clearly defined and declared to you and you have accepted it openly because it serves your desire to be a part of it, then it’s a healthy competition, be it related to any field and be it against a single person or a group or a population (population here refers to the people having one similar standard set as the dependent variable for their competition and not the whole population); but if the competition is undeclared and the person you are consciously or sub-consciously competing with has little to no idea about it or they are not on the same page with you, then your competitive streak is outrightly unhealthy and you may even prove yourself to be a fool by being in that dynamic over and over again.

PURPOSEFUL VERSUS PURPOSELESS COMPETITION-

colorful cutouts of the word purpose
Purpose helps in creating respect for competition-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When a competition serves any of your purpose in making your life better or improving your personality, then it is surely healthy but if your competitive streak hits your psyche only when you see somebody else doing something good or better than you and you feel like competing with them, although it doesn’t serve any of your desired purpose of self-improvement in the long run, then it obviously is unhealthy competition. The latter competition arises out of inner lack of worth and envy and jealousy towards the person secretly being competed with.

CONSCIOUS VERSUS SUB-CONSCIOUS/UNCONSCIOUS COMPETITION-

people running during daytime
Mindfulness (using logic) is required for respecting one’s time and energy- YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When a competition is entered into by and after putting a good amount of conscious thought and then decided upon to enter into it, it is a healthy one because this way your logical side is allowing you to invest your time and energy into it; but a competition is sub-conscious i.e. you tend to compete with people (be it anyone) out of impulse and without putting a good thought into it, then it is unhealthy for you, as first of all, you are not even recognising that you are competing; you may be imitating other(s), trying to look, feel and prove to be better than other(s) and you may have no to little idea about it. It may arise out of sub-conscious envy or jealousy or need for validation from other people to be recognised as better than the other person, although the persons you compete with may have no idea about it. This is downright wastage of both, your time and energy. One needs to be mindful and careful before entering into any kind of competition because it takes a great deal of one’s time and energy.

COMPETITION WITH ONESELF VERSUS COMPETITION WITH OTHERS-

man in black suit achieved an accomplishment
You can never win from everyone, but you can always win from your past self-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When one competes with one’s past self and tries to improve upon one’s previously achieved standards, then it is surely healthy, be it in any realm of life-career, education, health and fitness, money, social service, etc.; but if one always or mostly competes with other(s) and never tries to figure out and improve upon oneself, then it is unhealthy because then that person is just trying to meet the standards set by the one/ones whom he/she is competing with, although that other person may not have any clue about it, or even if any other person has created competition, it is unhealthy to compete with them or join them because it is not going to serve one anything and may lead one to be exhausted in the end while fueling the energy (probably unhealthy ego) of the other (who has instigated one to compete with them).

So, how to be a healthy competitor?? Always keep in mind your purpose, be conscious and highly logical about where to put your time and energy, have a strong purpose in mind, and preferably compete with your older self while entering into any kind of competition. Life is too short to waste on unhealthy competitions and to deal with mentally unhealthy people who mostly want to drag you into their self-created unconscious competitions.

“Work Smart, Not Hard”- How much does it work?

accounting analytics balance black and white

Work smart, not hard.” I am sure that you have come across this saying at least once by now, or if you are following quotation pages on any kind of social media platforms, then more than once. But what does it exactly mean? Does smart work replace hard work everywhere and in every task? Can it do so? What if something needs to be done with high precision? What if even after having enough tools and sources of accomplishing a task smartly, you still cannot complete it without paying attention to every single detail and without putting all your efforts and time into it? Actually, only smart work works only in a few thing, that too, if its already done once by somebody else. You can really make and do something smartly by using the available gadgets and information for doing something but the hard work required to do that thing cannot always be replaced by smartness. For example, if you have to make an architectural design of a house, you can have access to and use all the applications on computer to make the design but won’t you have to use your mind and take your time to make an original design through to its perfection? You will have to. Let’s take another example, if you are preparing for an exam and you have access to all the information required to get good grades in that exam and you know what is more important and what is not so important keeping in mind the previous patterns of that exam but what if the old questions don’t repeat again? You will certainly get lower grade than expected. Here, if you would have studied the whole of the syllabus rather than considering only a good portion crucial for preparation, you could have gotten better grades. Let’s take one more example- suppose you are an artist and you know what you want to paint on a canvass, you have seen many tutorials on the internet about how to do it in simpler and easier manner, but still you will have to put all of your efforts to paint it according to your chosen style and desired end product and it may take you days, weeks, or even months for its completion.

What I am pressing upon here is it’s not always that you can choose smart work over hard work. One needs to coagulate smart work with hard with in order to excel in anything. Choosing smart work over hard work for everything may make your end product or outcome mediocre sometimes because it’s already tried and tested by somebody else. While choosing only hard work may be hectic and overly pressing on you, choosing only smart work may be too easy and useless; achieving excellence and getting exceptional results in anything needs both hard and smart work in consonance with each-other.

A fighter by spirit, evoked by circumstances- Motivational Monologue.

“People like you are meant to achieve great things in life. There are a very few who can bear the emotional burdens like you, of yourself alongwith that of others until you realize that there are also only a very few who can fight like you. You go through the life’s ugly events all by yourself, your self-reliance ignites your fire even the more. You can live alone for the longest time and drown in the deepest waters of sorrow alone and still shine like a fighter, although being thrown daggers at and hated, because you irritate their demons. You deny to have any sympathy from anyone, for that’s equivalent to death to you, although you want somebody to understand you why you do the way you do everything; but it’s difficult for you to trust anyone for sharing your core, so you let anyone slip through your surface and never let many touch even a second layer, making it impossible to reach the core. The day you were fighting like the worst enemy to a few and cutting many away was the day your father had died. Your that wound being irreparable was something you could not tell anyone about, not family, not any friend, sulking in grief all alone. Then came their daggers hitting right at the wrong nerves of loss of people, family and love, that too at the wrong time. But you still could not explain it, who gives explanation to the offender? You broke, for sure, but only you know how you fight when you are completely broken. Did it happen till date that you let the ugliest people by heart take advantage of your good nature? Yes, it happened, it happened a lot but only to the point you decided not to bear it anymore. And when you decide to fight, you know what you become, you break everyone who tries to break you and fight like nobody in that state you have known.”

lion lying on ground
Photo by Frans Van Heerden on Pexels.com

“Being damsel in distress is something you never know, A Lone Knight is what you are and how you stand against any foe.”

If you want to motivate yourself in your darkest times, this is one of the ways how you can motivate yourself. You can enhance your self-talk in a positive manner. You can consider your negative circumstances that took you out of your comfort zone or shell as a catalyst to evoke a fighter’s spirit in you. You can do this every time and most importantly in the crucial or critical time, specially when people try to bring you down on purpose. You know how strong you are, you need to show it to others as well and show what kind of a fighting spirit you have, the one who will break everyone who will try to break you and the one who will eliminate anyone who will try to control you or try to make you feel any lesser than you are. You owe nobody anything. You give them anything out of love and tolerate their weakness when you want to but they should know that you do it out of choice and not out of pressure. You do what you need to do and what you want to do but not what others want to impose on you. When your core is stronger than anyone can imagine, you can stand strong for your rights and against anybody who offends you or your rights.