Change society as a whole to stop this crime-Rape.

adult alone black and white blur
It’s not abuse only of body, It’s an abuse of body, soul and violation of humanity and equality-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

“WE WANT JUSTICE !!”

“DON’T QUESTION MY OUTFIT, QUESTION THE ACT OF RAPE !!”

“NO MEANS NO !!”

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These and many such slogans seem like they have become a part of what you would call ‘Daily hassles of national life’. Why I used this somewhat irrelevant terminology here is because of the fact that it correlates to what we see in news these days; one girl-child/girl/woman gets raped and a very few number of people come out to protest against it with these slogans that have almost no effect on the deaf ears, be it that of government, parents, people in general, leave alone having it any effect on delinquent mentality possessed people. My question here is What are you doing about it practically and substantially??

  • Blaming the laws
  • Blaming the government
  • Blaming the culprit
  • Or very conveniently blaming the victim??

For a change why don’t you blame yourself ?? Yes, sounds harsh but appropriately so, blame yourself for this heinous crime incidents. You come out on roads to protest only when the incident has already happened, but hats-off to you that you still have the guts to stand against it openly; some of you put their display pictures of facebook, whatsapp and other social media sites saying “I am with (the name of the victim)” some share the so-called heart-touching posts regarding the victim (showing pity towards her??); some stay silent being very busy in their life as they are too sure that it can never happen to them or to their near and dear ones; some ignorant folks even don’t know what is happening in society, they are very satisfied in their self-contained illusionary world; and then lastly, comes the category of those misogynist people (both males and females) who are again going to blame the victim because their uneducated and prejudiced minds cannot accept that rape is a crime against a female, not by a female. Many might argue that laws must be much stricter in regard to punishments. But they don’t understand that the remedy of this crime is not in punishments. Provisions of stricter punishments might have deterrent effect on the minds of people, provided they know the punishments in the first place, but it cannot eradicate the gist of the crime.

The nucleus of the act of rape lies in the obnoxious mentality of the culprit which is the result of faulty gender-biased mentality of the society as a whole. The reasons for saying this are numerous, primarily being;

  • Patriarchal pattern of society and associated prejudices-

Indian society follows patriarchal pattern in which male leads and female is supposed to follow his decisions. The plethora of prejudices engulfed in this pattern against women is manifold, and in every aspect of life, be it preference to male-child birth, better education to male-child, choice of career, selection of life partner, during and after marriage submission the requirements of husband and in-laws, domestic violence (including marital-rape), etc. The basic right of freedom to females is shackled. They are expected to be docile and obedient in behaviour, and anyone not being so and standing for her rights is considered as someone mal-adaptive and anti-social. Apparently and ironically, the person standing against delinquency is considered a delinquent because it is against their orthodox principles. Whereas males are most ofter privileged with unlimited freedom to do anything as per their desire. Arguably, some will disagree to this contention of unlimited freedom to males but here I am referring to these words only comparatively to how much freedom is given to females. This kind of biases start corrupting the minds of a few people (males). They begin to think that they can do anything and would not be held liable for their actions against women. It forms the seed of rape in their minds.

  • Taking women as a property rather than a person- Even in the modern era, women are taken as property rather than human beings. The harsh wording here is for a reason. ‘Woman for a man’ is something that is still in the back of everyone’s mind.
  • Gender-biased moralisation by society- In our society, if the males show their sexuality, it is very common (obviously) and they use abusive or sexual terminology, again, it is completely acceptable but dare a female to do the same, it’s becomes an offence to all of her relatives’, neighbourers’ and colleagues’ cultural, social and traditional “values” like they have been abused by her for just using her freedom; even using the word sex openly sometimes feels like a crime when it comes out the mouth of a female whereas males openly use outrightly obnoxious words. I am not pressing upon that that females shall be taught to be overly abusive, but males shall be taught to be well-mannered right from the time their schooling begins at home or At Least Both Shall Be Given Equal Freedom to express themselves. This will lay the foundation of complete moralisation of society as a whole, rather than half of it.
  • Indifference and ignorance towards the crime of rape, generally- Believe it or not, some people do not even talk about rape incidents. For them, it has been a taboo since eternity. They will shun the voices of even those who can think about and against it. On an extreme end, some do not even think that it’s a crime by a man (because men are like that only, women should know their limits-Their Thinking). Whereas some people will just scroll through the newsfeed or newspaper thinking that it keeps on happening, and thus it has become their normal to know about it. The same indifferent and ignorant people would leave the victim being abused continually despite her cries for help.
  • Lack of proper sex education- It’s not only about the abusive mentality of those who commit this heinous crime but also about what leads them to that act. When somebody is shunned to think or talk about something openly or even know about it right from the childhood, then that topic ingresses inside the mind of that person to ‘explore’ it and it’s in human nature to feel high by doing things that he/she gets to do or knows about the least normally. If children be taught about sex properly at the right age (before puberty), then they would not grow as adults overly-excited about sex and the rate of this crime may drop drastically.
  • Lack of vigilance over thoughts and activities of children- People generally realize it what their children have become when they grow into adults, but how many people keep an eye over the kind of words their child uses? How many ask their kids questions to know what kind of thoughts they are having? How many parents scrutinize what their children are watching and reading on the internet and for how long? Since the inception of internet, it’s very easy to have access to any kind of information and now-a-days when social media is more active than ever in which sexual abuse and pornography are taken as something fun, what do you expect children to learn from that? Parents need to keep a close vigilance over all of their children’s activities; whom they talk to, what they talk about, how they behave and what they see or hear on the internet, otherwise they may soon be either the abuser or the abused one.

In the end, I can say that it’s all in your hands. Even one effort can make a huge difference. Don’t be ignorant and create a mishap of imbalance in society more and more.

Karl Marx’s end goal-realistic or idealistic?

The dream of a classless and stateless society and a fixed roadmap towards the fulfilment of that goal may remind one of the genius of the first Marxist Karl Marx. Surely, his interpretations of history and class struggle and social discrepancies were skewed towards economic conditions of those times but one who has studied Karl Marx in depth cannot deny that he was both a realist and a utopian idealist. A realist because he depended his theories around the industrial revolution and capitalism rising scenarios which were quite factual of his times, although he forgo a big part of human motivations like culture, communitarianism, geographical conditions and psychology and changes in those spheres with changed areas of locality or nationality, yet he was quite good at planning his theory of class struggle in the history as well as his contemporary times around two existing classes. But when he talked about and interpreted a classless and stateless society, one could easily take him as a utopian theorist because first of all, state was made for the management of the masses and if there would have been a stateless society, there would have been much despised anarchy everywhere and the discrimination that he sought to end could get elevated; secondly, the means he talked about to reach that end i.e. revolution by the proletariat against the bourgeoisie, somehow after being in power the proletariat could take the character of the bourgeoisie and would have begun to abuse that economic power in their hands, thus still the struggle would have persisted with the places exchanged between haves and have-nots where only the people would have exchanged their positions yet the characters of exploitation by haves of have-nots staying stuck that pattern only. The idea of a classless and stateless society was undoubtedly praise-worthy but in a society where the human motivation is not only determined by economic factors but also by the greed to be in power over others, it was certainly utopian because no matter how many people be egalitarian in their approach, still the forces who want to over-power others sustain in society contradictorily to the former and which can be meted out with the struggle for power since times immemorial.

How the existing generations are weak mentally?

Ever thought how weak and petty we as a whole of existing generations have become? We get depressed on very minor things, that too very soon. You did not get good marks, a job, some money, got rejected, felt unloved or did not get a specific desired result in any realm of life, you just drop your whole vibe instantly.

photo of man touching his head

Why? Don’t you think that you have become really weak mentally? Is life all about this petty stuff? Do you ever get out of the things that only serve you? Why so much of selfishness? I know we are all selfish and must be to some extent but what I observe is that we are too selfish to be tolerated by others. In the ancient and medieval times, our ancestors worked so hard, that too, for the betterment of human beings as a whole. They lived for themselves for sure, they too were selfish, but not as much as we have become. They were very strong people. There were great difficulties in their life. There was little to no knowledge of medicine(allopathy), no technology, little to no communication outside one’s tribe; they had to fight even for basic neccessities of life. We are in comparison to them manifolds privileged yet manifolds petty mentally. Their mental strength was commendable, capable of breaking mountains which they literally did. For us? who find it difficult to drive a car or bike or anything for a couple of hours. Sometimes even picking up a tv remote is too difficult. We have evolved into lazy, procrastinating, weak people. Not all, but a large majority of people is.This really exasperates me because we are not even soft. Many of us won’t mind even killing somebody for serving their selfish motives, if it was legal. Our minds play tricks on us and it’s not about a few people only, our collective consciousness has grown weaker with time. Soft by heart yet strong by mind is something really commendable (though heart pumps only blood, but I had to use it as a clich√®.) We don’t move with purpose, we move on adopted patterns of society. There are bigger things that we are too afraid of doing, because they involve a mass of people who cannot give us anything in return and we don’t want to do something which does not serve us. Even if we do, we do it to show it to others that how helpful we are. Moreover, people have become so delicate mentally that whenever they go through any emotionally chaotic situation and they, more or less, have to go through it because nothing can be done about it, they think or say that they survived. I really want to ask them what they survived actually?? There were times in history when the words “I survived” were used to describe survival of human beings in jungles having no food, clothing or shelter, and the survival during wars, drought, flood, plague, holocaust, etc. In the contemporary times, when we are way too privileged than our previous generations, people say that they survived only when they have to go through even a single failure be it in career or relationships or otherwise. I can only say in the end that Science and technology is getting better and we, regarding personal mental capabilities, are being worse, or to say again, too weak, shallow and petty.

Emotional Pain-Tolerance and Reactivity.

adult alone anxious black and white

Emotional Pain is something that we all go through being humans moving through life’s ups and downs. But not all of us handle the emotional pain in the same way and even the same person handles it differently at different times during different kinds of circumstances. The patterns involved can be various but let’s talk about the main difference between people having high emotional tolerance and those having low level of it.

The former reacts to the painful situation when it becomes unbearable; whereas the latter reacts the same way even at the hint of pain or at most, at the initiation of a painful event.

Illustratively, emotionally highly tolerant people have the experience(s) of a deep wound(s), which opens up and bleeds every time it’s touched, poked, hit or exposed i.e. emotionally it gets triggered but they get accustomed to tolerating that much pain, so they take it as their normal and generally do not react to what actually normal people would react to to a good extent;¬†

Whereas emotionally lowly tolerant people have little to no such wound and they become afraid even at the thought of having any wound, so they act dramatically in order to evade from any kind of pain; they show pain which is the bare minimum for other normal people which actually can be too much for them because their threshold of emotional tolerance is quite low.

Because of this, one shall never judge other’s pain based on their reactions. Some people are natually highly reactive, others are experiencially highly tolerant.

If somebody is laughing, it doesn’t mean that they are not in pain;

If somebody is silent, it doesn’t mean that they are in pain;

If somebody is in pain, it doesn’t mean they cannot or won’t react;

If somebody is reacting, it doesn’t mean that they are or are not in pain.

Pain cannot be described and treated by others with rules set in stone. As much as pain is subjective, so is its expression.

Are you being misunderstood or taken advantage of?

woman comforting friend

Things would have been different if you could understand me better.” This particular sentence is what you keep on thinking about, expecting some different outcome out of an unfavourable situation in love or relationships. Actually, this is just an excuse you keep repeating in your mind. Look ! Somebody understood you and your goodness and found it convenient to carry on with their sneaky motives because you made them that comfortable in doing so. Do not give them this benefit of the doubt that they could not understand you or events properly. It seldom happens that somebody does not understand your interactions with them, unless they are feeble minded or they have not interacted with you for a long time. Even if you suppose that they could not understand you, what is the probability that they will be understanding you in the future?? It’s highly likely that you will draw yourself back into the same loop of either misunderstandings or making excuses for their behaviour. Do not think that it’s your LOVE that is making you think this way. It’s not love. You need to do some internal work of knowing your worth and feeling yourself as an important person rather than putting somebody else on a padestal every single time, so that the next time somebody thinks hundreds of times before making you feel any less than who you are. Things will not be different if you won’t choose different.