Did you say “Go with the flow” and still acted different? -An Eye-Opening Monologue.

silhouette of people on beach during sunset

Hey folks.. 🙂 How are you feeling today? What are you thinking about now? Did you check your energy? Is it in flow or being controlled by you? Let’s talk about it in general. Some people know how to let their energy flow and let others’ energy flow easily as well without trying to re-direct or control it. But, some people still have not learnt how to let the energy flow freely and let things align for those whose energy is flowing freely. It’s for those people- If you have not learnt anything, at least, do not hamper other’s energy, path and blessings. I have been seeing some of the behaviours repeating year after years, and it’s quite obvious that people do not learn from experiences. You can learn if you want to. Just feel your own energy and apply some logic to it. I know that it’s easier said than done. Nobody can control one’s own emotions many of the times, but, look at it like this- if you didn’t get the desired outcome while repeating the same behaviour over and over again, how much it is likely to have the desired outcome now out of the same behaviour?? Again.. It is easier to say all this than applying it to oneself. Been there, done that. But at least think about it. Which cycle you are repeating again?? Which loop you are continuing now that just keeps your life in an abyss of doubts about yourself and others?? If some things, behaviour, people didn’t serve you for your welfare and progress in the past, how much likely are they to serve for the same now??

Also, some of you really preach others to go with the flow but when it comes to you, you do not know how your own energy is flowing; which direction it is flowing in; and, consciously or subconsciously, you also try to stop or misdirect others flow as well.

Kindly, stop doing this ! Analyse yourself. Analyse exactly what you want and/or who you want. And then, go for it. If it works, then great; if it doesn’t or didn’t, then move on. But, for your own sake and others, stop making your insecurities or past experiences of love or hatred with someone make you do things that you should not do at all according to your current circumstances. If you are sure of your decisions that you have taken that have led you to your present situation, then you are not going to do the confusing things. And, if you are unsure about the decisions taken, then change those decisions first and then act on your current feelings.

It’s not good that you try to change other’s permanent decisions based on your own temporary feelings and emotions that keep on fluctuating; If you are doing this, you are just trying to control someone just because you lack in self-control.

Interception For Self

silhouette photo of woman

When your heart shatters into a zillion pieces,

When it still doesn’t make any noise to the outside world,

When you can’t hear your own screams,

When you silently own every single broken piece in your existence’s hold,

Know that there will be someone who will make it easy for you;

Someone will make it easy the love for you,

The love you give and their love for you,

Someone will make the life easy for you,

The way you want to live it,

doing the things you love to do,

Someone will make it easy for you to smile,

The real unfiltered blooming out of innate happiness they give to you,

And until you meet that special someone

Cherish everything that you are

Find depth in your hollowed heart

Find solace in your solitude

Find heights increasing in your strength

For living alone this way is truly an art.

Emotional Pain-Tolerance and Reactivity.

adult alone anxious black and white

Emotional Pain is something that we all go through being humans moving through life’s ups and downs. But not all of us handle the emotional pain in the same way and even the same person handles it differently at different times during different kinds of circumstances. The patterns involved can be various but let’s talk about the main difference between people having high emotional tolerance and those having low level of it.

The former reacts to the painful situation when it becomes unbearable; whereas the latter reacts the same way even at the hint of pain or at most, at the initiation of a painful event.

Illustratively, emotionally highly tolerant people have the experience(s) of a deep wound(s), which opens up and bleeds every time it’s touched, poked, hit or exposed i.e. emotionally it gets triggered but they get accustomed to tolerating that much pain, so they take it as their normal and generally do not react to what actually normal people would react to to a good extent; 

Whereas emotionally lowly tolerant people have little to no such wound and they become afraid even at the thought of having any wound, so they act dramatically in order to evade from any kind of pain; they show pain which is the bare minimum for other normal people which actually can be too much for them because their threshold of emotional tolerance is quite low.

Because of this, one shall never judge other’s pain based on their reactions. Some people are natually highly reactive, others are experiencially highly tolerant.

If somebody is laughing, it doesn’t mean that they are not in pain;

If somebody is silent, it doesn’t mean that they are in pain;

If somebody is in pain, it doesn’t mean they cannot or won’t react;

If somebody is reacting, it doesn’t mean that they are or are not in pain.

Pain cannot be described and treated by others with rules set in stone. As much as pain is subjective, so is its expression.

Emotional or mental ditching- Ever felt ditched emotionally by people closest to you?

man in blue and brown plaid dress shirt touching his hair

That was my weakest time emotionally and you were not there.” Ever felt like quoting it or saying it out loud to anyone? Well, we all go through this kind of phases several times in our lives involving a plethora of situations and different people and their several roles in those situations.

What I am going to point out here is when and how one is supposed to show that they truly care about you and/or respect your relationship with them?? It is not when you are at your best but particularly when you are at your weakest point. Anyone can and will join you when you are in prosperity but not everyone will do so in your adversity. Sometimes, the people that seem closest to you in your cheerful and happy moments, don’t show up when you are down, that too knowingly. They do so because they don’t want to interfere or because they don’t care?? You need to figure this out very thoughtfully as well as practically. That can be anyone literally, a friend, a lover, a life partner, a relative, a colleague, or even a parent.

But you can’t blame each and everyone in your weak times for behaving indifferently for everyone does not know you very well. Only those who are always present when you have something good or positive to offer have a moral liability to support you when you can’t offer them anything but need them for emotional support. And, if they are unavailable or make excuses (for even listening to you) or act ignorant like they didn’t even get to know about your mental situation, then it’s time to say goodbye to them.

Give up on each and everyone who cannot understand you howsoever hard you try, howsoever good and understanding you become to them. Your time is also precious which is being spent on them for a long span. Your energy gets burnt by doing things for them that they won’t do for you.

Sometimes, people think that the one who is the doer in a relationship / friendship is supposed to keep doing that stuff. And when he/she stops or recedes, then he/she is generally taken as someone who has changed. No! That person has not changed over time as it is blamed but that person has started realizing his/her importance and the unstable dynamic of the relationship! One just needs to fall back and think or sometimes test his/her relations with others to know if their efforts will ever be reciprocated or not?? But it shall not be done by thinking one-sidedly only. The other person might have genuine problems in life due to which they could not help. For knowing that, it’s better to talk to each-other openly about the issues that are affecting the relation on psychological grounds.

woman holding disposable lighter

Love-When it should be confessed?

woman doing hand heart sign

Those feelings… The lovely feelings and the moment you realise that you have something more than just a friendship or liking for someone. It feels blissful !! But then dwells in nervousness and a hell lot of anxiety when you start thinking about what to do about your feelings and your mind bombards you with tons of questions and fears. First of all, you are just not capable of understanding the true nature of your feelings. Even when after a lot of insight, you do understand it, you are not capable of putting forward those feelings to that person. Sometimes, it feels like you are going to explode with that much pressure of keeping them to yourself. What to do at that exact moment?? Confess it!! Yes, confess your love or liking the very moment you realize it. I know some of you might be thinking that it’s downright silly and some might put a lot of thought into it regarding what it’s outcome can be.

But, did you ever think that it might be too late?? Yes, it can be. Here are some reasons for why confession of love is always going to end up in your favour:

  • Maybe that person has the same feelings for you and he/she is just as nervous as you are and is over-thinking it like you. And if you confess it first, it is going to end up in your union.
  • Maybe that person has no such feelings at the present moment but he/she may have if you put up some efforts and make them feel your love. Confession of love or liking is the straight and simple first step here.
  • Maybe it will not end up in your union but still you will get rid of the extra-burden of unsaid feelings that are over-whelming you.
  • It’s always beautiful to spread love. Even if they cannot reciprocate your feelings, they will feel good about it and will end up liking you more than before.
  • You will have no regrets because, at least, you tried.

But before confessing that be sure what kind of feelings they are; whether it’s just attraction, liking, lust or love. Recognize your feelings first and confess only what you feel. No understatement. No exaggeration. Trust me, you will feel good in the end.