“That was my weakest time emotionally and you were not there.” Ever felt like quoting it or saying it out loud to anyone? Well, we all go through this kind of phases several times in our lives involving a plethora of situations and different people and their several roles in those situations.
What I am going to point out here is when and how one is supposed to show that they truly care about you and/or respect your relationship with them?? It is not when you are at your best butparticularly when you are at your weakest point. Anyone can and will join you when you are in prosperity but not everyone will do so in your adversity. Sometimes, the people that seem closest to you in your cheerful and happy moments, don’t show up when you are down, that too knowingly. They do so because they don’t want to interfere or because they don’t care?? You need to figure this out very thoughtfully as well as practically. That can be anyone literally, a friend, a lover, a life partner, a relative, a colleague, or even a parent.
But you can’t blame each and everyone in your weak times for behaving indifferently for everyone does not know you very well. Only those who are always present when you have something good or positive to offer have a moral liability to support you when you can’t offer them anything but need them for emotional support. And, if they are unavailable or make excuses (for even listening to you) or act ignorant like they didn’t even get to know about your mental situation, then it’s time to say goodbye to them.
Give up on each and everyone who cannot understand you howsoever hard you try, howsoever good and understanding you become to them. Your time is also precious which is being spent on them for a long span. Your energy gets burnt by doing things for them that they won’t do for you.
Sometimes, people think that the one who is the doer in a relationship / friendship is supposed to keep doing that stuff. And when he/she stops or recedes, then he/she is generally taken as someone who has changed. No! That person has not changed over time as it is blamed but that person has started realizing his/her importance and the unstable dynamic of the relationship! One just needs to fall back and think or sometimes test his/her relations with others to know if their efforts will ever be reciprocated or not?? But it shall not be done by thinking one-sidedly only. The other person might have genuine problems in life due to which they could not help. For knowing that, it’s better to talk to each-other openly about the issues that are affecting the relation on psychological grounds.
When was the last time when you felt low emotionally and it was like your energy levels dropped drastically?? Last month, last week, yesterday, today or everyday?? You might be having depression or mood disorder or might be feeling plainly stressful all the time. In such situations you may or may not be liking to discuss the reasons behind your stress or strain. But anyhow if you try and discuss, you will meet with certain kinds of people and/or responses. You will find out that there would be some people who just want to see you physically fine, they have nothing to do with your mental or emotional well-being while others have nothing to do even with your physical well-being. And there will be a very few gems who want your wellness in both.
Here are some kinds of people and their reactions that you may get to know in such a situation:
PEOPLE WITH INDIFFERENT ATTITUDE
There are some people who are with you only as long as you are capable of putting up a mask of happiness on your face and don’t show any kind of mood instability or stress and when you start showing up your insecurities and weaknesses, they avoid it like preventing themselves from an epidemic. They are the people with “hmmm.. It happens..”, “hmmm.. don’t worry”, “You don’t look good sad like this” kind of responses. I mean like really?? Are they even worthy of your time in general?? Leave alone your good times.
MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE DESIRING TO CONTROL OTHERS
Another category comprises of those who are waiting for you to share something with them just so that they can bestow you with their useless ‘Wise Advice‘ that is not even wise in the first place, but they have to advise anyway. Trust me, they too have nothing to do with your emotional well-being. They are the people with “I had told you”, “I knew this”, “You should do this” kind of responses. And they give you advice that prove their point right that they have always wanted to impose on you. Thanks but no thanks to such people and their ego-serving advice.
STUPID AND INSENSIBLE PEOPLE
And then, there comes another category of people who ‘just laugh out‘ on anything and everything you say. They are listening to you just for passing their free time. In fact, don’t even listen to you completely and are not interested in understanding you or your situation anyway.
TRULY WISE PEOPLE
There are barely any people who can ‘JUST LISTEN‘ and do nothing else unless asked for something !! They are truly wise people who understand that you are alone and you need to be listened to. They do not advise you unless you ask them to do so. They are the ‘real treasure‘. If there are any other kinds of people that you have met in such a situation, then do let me know in the comments section.