HEALTHY COMPETITION- What is it and how to be a healthy competitor?

battle black blur board game
“Compete with purpose, or not at all”-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

Competition is in all of us, whether one admits abour it or not. Some are openly competitive and some secretly. Some people find competition in minor things and some compete for big goals. Some people compete with one or two people and some with a block of population or in their guild.

But..How many people are healthy competitors or have healthy competition streak?? You must think about it. Let’s crack the code.

DECLARED VERSUS UNDECLARED COMPETITION-

basketball team stacking hands together
Well defined competitions are well competed-Your Choicest Lifestyle.

When a competition is clearly defined and declared to you and you have accepted it openly because it serves your desire to be a part of it, then it’s a healthy competition, be it related to any field and be it against a single person or a group or a population (population here refers to the people having one similar standard set as the dependent variable for their competition and not the whole population); but if the competition is undeclared and the person you are consciously or sub-consciously competing with has little to no idea about it or they are not on the same page with you, then your competitive streak is outrightly unhealthy and you may even prove yourself to be a fool by being in that dynamic over and over again.

PURPOSEFUL VERSUS PURPOSELESS COMPETITION-

colorful cutouts of the word purpose
Purpose helps in creating respect for competition-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When a competition serves any of your purpose in making your life better or improving your personality, then it is surely healthy but if your competitive streak hits your psyche only when you see somebody else doing something good or better than you and you feel like competing with them, although it doesn’t serve any of your desired purpose of self-improvement in the long run, then it obviously is unhealthy competition. The latter competition arises out of inner lack of worth and envy and jealousy towards the person secretly being competed with.

CONSCIOUS VERSUS SUB-CONSCIOUS/UNCONSCIOUS COMPETITION-

people running during daytime
Mindfulness (using logic) is required for respecting one’s time and energy- YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When a competition is entered into by and after putting a good amount of conscious thought and then decided upon to enter into it, it is a healthy one because this way your logical side is allowing you to invest your time and energy into it; but a competition is sub-conscious i.e. you tend to compete with people (be it anyone) out of impulse and without putting a good thought into it, then it is unhealthy for you, as first of all, you are not even recognising that you are competing; you may be imitating other(s), trying to look, feel and prove to be better than other(s) and you may have no to little idea about it. It may arise out of sub-conscious envy or jealousy or need for validation from other people to be recognised as better than the other person, although the persons you compete with may have no idea about it. This is downright wastage of both, your time and energy. One needs to be mindful and careful before entering into any kind of competition because it takes a great deal of one’s time and energy.

COMPETITION WITH ONESELF VERSUS COMPETITION WITH OTHERS-

man in black suit achieved an accomplishment
You can never win from everyone, but you can always win from your past self-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When one competes with one’s past self and tries to improve upon one’s previously achieved standards, then it is surely healthy, be it in any realm of life-career, education, health and fitness, money, social service, etc.; but if one always or mostly competes with other(s) and never tries to figure out and improve upon oneself, then it is unhealthy because then that person is just trying to meet the standards set by the one/ones whom he/she is competing with, although that other person may not have any clue about it, or even if any other person has created competition, it is unhealthy to compete with them or join them because it is not going to serve one anything and may lead one to be exhausted in the end while fueling the energy (probably unhealthy ego) of the other (who has instigated one to compete with them).

So, how to be a healthy competitor?? Always keep in mind your purpose, be conscious and highly logical about where to put your time and energy, have a strong purpose in mind, and preferably compete with your older self while entering into any kind of competition. Life is too short to waste on unhealthy competitions and to deal with mentally unhealthy people who mostly want to drag you into their self-created unconscious competitions.

Does your pain entitle you to offend others?

woman looking at sea while sitting on beach

“Take it easy!”,”Chill !!” – The phrases you often listen to whenever you react to someone’s statements that can offend boundaries set by you in your relation to that person. Such a person might be a total stranger, a colleague, relative, friend or lover. What boundaries you have set in your dealings with that person are not meant to be crossed for any reason whatsoever. They might give you the random chill in your spine by intimadating you or might lead your temper to rise or may make you numb in a way that you stay stunned about what to say or how to respond to such a stimulus.

And when you react to it with anger or even affirm your boundaries again, then they try to teach you how to chill and not to take life too seriously. Sometimes, they affirm you that they have gone through great ordeals that you have no idea about and still they are capable of playing around. Actually, they are just playing around with their words or even emotions but seldom logic. Their pain does not entitle them to offend you. If their words are hurting your emotions or sentiments or feelings or you are plainly feeling misunderstood or made fun of or taken advantage of or manipulated with, it’s an offence to your person and their own pain is no excuse to inflict any pain upon you.

For a moment, you might give them another chance by giving due regard to their suffering as a benefit of doubt but that kind of behaviour might continue if not opposed or stopped at the first instance. They might play hooky under the veil of their pain or anger but it is not acceptable because you are not responsible for that pain and thus, it’s also not your duty to tolerate it for any measure.

For opposing or making it stop, you do not need to play the same. You don’t need to play mind games or get angry or play the blame game or be pitiful in any way. Be sympathetic and neutral simultaneously in whatever you say and the tone in which you say it.

For example; say

  • “I have no idea what you have gone through but your pain does not entitle you to offend me and I found your behaviour offensive to my boundaries”
  • “I would like to understand your reasons but still your this action/behaviour is unacceptable to me.”
  • “I did not offend you, and I would appreciate it if you reciprocate the same.”
  • “How would you feel if I offend your boundaries and then give excuse of my pain?”
    And, if he or she still does not stop or get even more offensive or aggressive or passive aggressive then be a little more strict and say “Would you understand my dignified silence or you want me to react like you have reacted?”

What you say should be clear, and should give them a message that their behaviour is unacceptable whatever might be the reason behind it. But do not trigger their emotions or do anything to hurt them as it might worsen the situation altogether. Keep calm and be firm and unprejudiced in your approach.

TRUST-What is required to build it?

Don’t you trust me?” The question often asked to us by someone whom we ask for an explanation for their words or actions. I know that trust is instinctual for most of the people; something that one acknowledges automatically. But, what if someone has serious trust issues in general? I mean, if there is someone who just cannot trust anyone, how would you make that person trust you? Certainly not by pressuring or manipulating like throwing tantrums or accusing that person that he/she has irrational trust issues. NO! Really, a Big No for these ways.

The only way to make someone trust you who has trust issues naturally or due to some past experiences is to be honest with him/her. It might take some extra efforts from your side. You also might have to give them proofs or explanations for your words or actions every single time. You just have to keep calm upon their asking for the proofs or explanations, still, if they can’t trust you, then let it be like that. Don’t get mad at them. They are not doing it intentionally. They are also suffering from mental frustration. But it does not mean that you too have to go through the same kind of frustration or retaliate with the same kind of accusation like “I also don’t trust you”. Try and be polite and stay honest without getting offended upon asking for the explanations.

This will save a lot of time and mental exhaustion for both of you. Over time, they will start trusting you. Believe me, they will !! Because every person needs some adjustment from others in relationships of any kind and if you value them, you would not be dishonest with them in the first place. So, what’s the deal in giving proof for your honesty too. Yes, you may not like or maybe hate to be distrusted but understand that trusting someone may be a pivotal issue for them. They might have gone through certain experiences in which they trusted others and it ended up in shattering or breaking them.

If you think that enforcing them to believe you is going to work. It will not ! Rather they would feel like you are trying to pressure or manipulate them which is going to back-fire and ultimately result in severe trust issues. Only honesty begets trust, nothing else.

anchor couple fingers friends
“Trust is the basis of any bond glued by honesty”-Your Choicest Lifestyle.

Weight Loss-Three primary questions to decide upon before starting a weight loss regimen.

young female athlete training alone on treadmill in modern gym

Hey Guys!

Today I am here to discuss upon one of the very important goals of Fitness and life in general- WEIGHT LOSS ! We will do it summarily here in this post and can go into further details on your suggestions.

So, first of all, you have to make up your mind on these three pivotal questions before digging further into any kind of fitness regimen:


  1. how much weight do you have to lose to stay healthy?
  2. How much weight do you want to lose to feel good?
  3. In how much time do you want to reach your goal?

Trust me, once you think about and find out the answers to these 3 questions, you will find it very easy to follow through the techniques to reach your fitness goal and will feel highly motivated. After all, it’s your decision to be fit and you are going to achieve it !!

Coming to the First Part:

How much weight do you have to lose to stay healthy?

For this, get a check-up done from a medical practitioner and go through complete body tests especially lipid profile, thyroid functioning, lever functioning, haemoglobin, blood sugar level etc. so as to ensure that you do not have any medical condition specific to weight gain/loss and then use a BMI (Body Mass Index) calculator and BMI normal range indicator. Also, get your Fat Percentage checked from a medical practitioner or a gym trainer. This will let you know exactly how much fat weight you need to lose.

How much weight do you want to lose to feel good?

Apart from the healthy range of weight, there must be some weight goal in your mind that you think is going to make you feel better about your body and make you more attractive ( No offence here! You are already attractive, but I am talking about feeling “more” attractive here concerning your body only and you really want that 😉 ). Set a realistic target for this and never below your normal BMI range’s minimum weight. Somewhere in the middle of that range would be fine. But that should be a long-term goal. First set a short term goal like losing a few kilos from your big target to be achieved in a shorter span of time.

Here we come to the third part, i.e.

In how much time do you want to reach your goal?

As I have already said that you must decide a long-term goal and then cut it short into many short-term goals. The reasons for doing this are that, firstly, you still have no idea what kind of plan is going to work for you (because you have not tried anything yet), so you will have to go through some trials and errors to find the best possible method. Secondly, you will not feel over-burdened with a big goal. Big goals can be achieved in a long term and that needs sheer consistency and there is a great chance of being divergent from your weight loss goal or worst-give up on it. Shorter durations of control over your diet and maintaining a fitness regimen of exercise are easier to be achieved. Moreover, you will feel motivated when you will achieve your short-term fitness goals. Short-term fitness goals ideally should be 1 week goal. But, in case you have shorter time or you don’t have that kind of control over your cravings or you can’t be consistent with exercise then, a 3 days goal is perfect for you just for you to test if it works for you or not. If you start liking your 3-days or 1 week routine, then that’s great, carry on with it. But, if you don’t feel like doing it anymore or you think that it’s putting a lot of pressure on you or you can’t be happy in that kind of routine, then switch to a new plan. Go with which plan makes you happy because you have to adopt it as a lifestyle so that after losing weight you can keep it off without getting hard on yourself and love it too.

scrabble pieces on a plate
Chill..It’s not rocket science. 😉 Pexels.com

A fighter by spirit, evoked by circumstances- Motivational Monologue.

“People like you are meant to achieve great things in life. There are a very few who can bear the emotional burdens like you, of yourself alongwith that of others until you realize that there are also only a very few who can fight like you. You go through the life’s ugly events all by yourself, your self-reliance ignites your fire even the more. You can live alone for the longest time and drown in the deepest waters of sorrow alone and still shine like a fighter, although being thrown daggers at and hated, because you irritate their demons. You deny to have any sympathy from anyone, for that’s equivalent to death to you, although you want somebody to understand you why you do the way you do everything; but it’s difficult for you to trust anyone for sharing your core, so you let anyone slip through your surface and never let many touch even a second layer, making it impossible to reach the core. The day you were fighting like the worst enemy to a few and cutting many away was the day your father had died. Your that wound being irreparable was something you could not tell anyone about, not family, not any friend, sulking in grief all alone. Then came their daggers hitting right at the wrong nerves of loss of people, family and love, that too at the wrong time. But you still could not explain it, who gives explanation to the offender? You broke, for sure, but only you know how you fight when you are completely broken. Did it happen till date that you let the ugliest people by heart take advantage of your good nature? Yes, it happened, it happened a lot but only to the point you decided not to bear it anymore. And when you decide to fight, you know what you become, you break everyone who tries to break you and fight like nobody in that state you have known.”

lion lying on ground
Photo by Frans Van Heerden on Pexels.com

“Being damsel in distress is something you never know, A Lone Knight is what you are and how you stand against any foe.”

If you want to motivate yourself in your darkest times, this is one of the ways how you can motivate yourself. You can enhance your self-talk in a positive manner. You can consider your negative circumstances that took you out of your comfort zone or shell as a catalyst to evoke a fighter’s spirit in you. You can do this every time and most importantly in the crucial or critical time, specially when people try to bring you down on purpose. You know how strong you are, you need to show it to others as well and show what kind of a fighting spirit you have, the one who will break everyone who will try to break you and the one who will eliminate anyone who will try to control you or try to make you feel any lesser than you are. You owe nobody anything. You give them anything out of love and tolerate their weakness when you want to but they should know that you do it out of choice and not out of pressure. You do what you need to do and what you want to do but not what others want to impose on you. When your core is stronger than anyone can imagine, you can stand strong for your rights and against anybody who offends you or your rights.