HEALTHY COMPETITION- What is it and how to be a healthy competitor?

battle black blur board game
“Compete with purpose, or not at all”-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

Competition is in all of us, whether one admits abour it or not. Some are openly competitive and some secretly. Some people find competition in minor things and some compete for big goals. Some people compete with one or two people and some with a block of population or in their guild.

But..How many people are healthy competitors or have healthy competition streak?? You must think about it. Let’s crack the code.

DECLARED VERSUS UNDECLARED COMPETITION-

basketball team stacking hands together
Well defined competitions are well competed-Your Choicest Lifestyle.

When a competition is clearly defined and declared to you and you have accepted it openly because it serves your desire to be a part of it, then it’s a healthy competition, be it related to any field and be it against a single person or a group or a population (population here refers to the people having one similar standard set as the dependent variable for their competition and not the whole population); but if the competition is undeclared and the person you are consciously or sub-consciously competing with has little to no idea about it or they are not on the same page with you, then your competitive streak is outrightly unhealthy and you may even prove yourself to be a fool by being in that dynamic over and over again.

PURPOSEFUL VERSUS PURPOSELESS COMPETITION-

colorful cutouts of the word purpose
Purpose helps in creating respect for competition-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When a competition serves any of your purpose in making your life better or improving your personality, then it is surely healthy but if your competitive streak hits your psyche only when you see somebody else doing something good or better than you and you feel like competing with them, although it doesn’t serve any of your desired purpose of self-improvement in the long run, then it obviously is unhealthy competition. The latter competition arises out of inner lack of worth and envy and jealousy towards the person secretly being competed with.

CONSCIOUS VERSUS SUB-CONSCIOUS/UNCONSCIOUS COMPETITION-

people running during daytime
Mindfulness (using logic) is required for respecting one’s time and energy- YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When a competition is entered into by and after putting a good amount of conscious thought and then decided upon to enter into it, it is a healthy one because this way your logical side is allowing you to invest your time and energy into it; but a competition is sub-conscious i.e. you tend to compete with people (be it anyone) out of impulse and without putting a good thought into it, then it is unhealthy for you, as first of all, you are not even recognising that you are competing; you may be imitating other(s), trying to look, feel and prove to be better than other(s) and you may have no to little idea about it. It may arise out of sub-conscious envy or jealousy or need for validation from other people to be recognised as better than the other person, although the persons you compete with may have no idea about it. This is downright wastage of both, your time and energy. One needs to be mindful and careful before entering into any kind of competition because it takes a great deal of one’s time and energy.

COMPETITION WITH ONESELF VERSUS COMPETITION WITH OTHERS-

man in black suit achieved an accomplishment
You can never win from everyone, but you can always win from your past self-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When one competes with one’s past self and tries to improve upon one’s previously achieved standards, then it is surely healthy, be it in any realm of life-career, education, health and fitness, money, social service, etc.; but if one always or mostly competes with other(s) and never tries to figure out and improve upon oneself, then it is unhealthy because then that person is just trying to meet the standards set by the one/ones whom he/she is competing with, although that other person may not have any clue about it, or even if any other person has created competition, it is unhealthy to compete with them or join them because it is not going to serve one anything and may lead one to be exhausted in the end while fueling the energy (probably unhealthy ego) of the other (who has instigated one to compete with them).

So, how to be a healthy competitor?? Always keep in mind your purpose, be conscious and highly logical about where to put your time and energy, have a strong purpose in mind, and preferably compete with your older self while entering into any kind of competition. Life is too short to waste on unhealthy competitions and to deal with mentally unhealthy people who mostly want to drag you into their self-created unconscious competitions.

How to get rid of flight and fight mode? An Insight and A Sure-shot Method !

backlit balance beach cloud
Your true self is what is inside you, not how it looks on the outside or how it seems to other people. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When you are not connected to yourself completely; when you do not dig into all of your layers, test and understand them immensely, somebody may cut your outer layer and you may begin to bleed. That outer layer is always the clothing protected by fight and flight mode, which works as a shield to protect you from the outer world and the bleeding is shown in impulsive reactions in order to repel whatever is trying to reach and hurt your existence or your inner layers. When you go through similar situations which your rationality (ego) tells you that are out of its control or have the potential to or have already hurt you, then you may go into the state of hyper-active flight and fight mode. In this state, you cannot trust anything and anybody and tend to fight with anyone who can have the slightest chance of repeating the hurtful situations. Your memory sometimes begin to weaken in order to save you and sometimes it works by overly repeating the hurtful scenarios in your mind.

What can you do in such a situation? It is very difficult to leave a flight or fight mode. Here I can tell you one of the ways that always bring me back to myself (Try only if you can trust my ways). This is what you have to do- Just try to stop fighting. Do not try to fly away from the situation. Just stop the urge to fight against it. Observe if the facts or circumstances or people involved are important to you for as long as you want to, but stop the urge to fight right away. Instead, go inside, go deeper into your layers, through to your core and ask “Is it truly me who is fighting? Or are those my fears fighting?” I am almost sure that your answer will be ‘fears’. Your core carries a lot of strength and love but your love for any other person depends on how much you love yourself (that’s a whole different topic). If those people or situations could never touch your core, then believe me, they are not that important to fight with or to fight for. Your core is your a collective whole of your values and principles which you have to consider extensively to stop your fighting response. When you stay there, observe and do not fight against what’s happening, then you develop the tendency to differentiate what is important for you and what is not, which includes almost anything (behaviour of others, their presence or absence in your life, circumstances related to career etc.). As a result, you develop the tendency to ignore a lot of things and people that you know do not gel well or connect well with your core and when you develop the tendency to observe yet ignore a lot, you can realize that you have gotten out of your flight and fight mode.

Remember that this state of getting rid of flight and fight paradigm is not permanent. You may have to do it over and over again whenever you feel triggered. It consumes a lot of time and mental energy but it’s crucial for connecting with yourself and to observe detachment. For that your ego(rationality) and superego(higher principles, core values) have to work in consonance with each other but once you reach that state protect it at any cost. To protect it, remember that you don’t have to fight, rather you have remain still and let it pass by. It is very difficult when you have your old wounds that can re-open at the slightest touch, but only when you go inwards you know that nothing from the outside can really touch you when you have developed your core strength and the ability to ignore most of the outer things, people and circumstances that do not resonate with your core.