Did you say “Go with the flow” and still acted different? -An Eye-Opening Monologue.

silhouette of people on beach during sunset

Hey folks.. 🙂 How are you feeling today? What are you thinking about now? Did you check your energy? Is it in flow or being controlled by you? Let’s talk about it in general. Some people know how to let their energy flow and let others’ energy flow easily as well without trying to re-direct or control it. But, some people still have not learnt how to let the energy flow freely and let things align for those whose energy is flowing freely. It’s for those people- If you have not learnt anything, at least, do not hamper other’s energy, path and blessings. I have been seeing some of the behaviours repeating year after years, and it’s quite obvious that people do not learn from experiences. You can learn if you want to. Just feel your own energy and apply some logic to it. I know that it’s easier said than done. Nobody can control one’s own emotions many of the times, but, look at it like this- if you didn’t get the desired outcome while repeating the same behaviour over and over again, how much it is likely to have the desired outcome now out of the same behaviour?? Again.. It is easier to say all this than applying it to oneself. Been there, done that. But at least think about it. Which cycle you are repeating again?? Which loop you are continuing now that just keeps your life in an abyss of doubts about yourself and others?? If some things, behaviour, people didn’t serve you for your welfare and progress in the past, how much likely are they to serve for the same now??

Also, some of you really preach others to go with the flow but when it comes to you, you do not know how your own energy is flowing; which direction it is flowing in; and, consciously or subconsciously, you also try to stop or misdirect others flow as well.

Kindly, stop doing this ! Analyse yourself. Analyse exactly what you want and/or who you want. And then, go for it. If it works, then great; if it doesn’t or didn’t, then move on. But, for your own sake and others, stop making your insecurities or past experiences of love or hatred with someone make you do things that you should not do at all according to your current circumstances. If you are sure of your decisions that you have taken that have led you to your present situation, then you are not going to do the confusing things. And, if you are unsure about the decisions taken, then change those decisions first and then act on your current feelings.

It’s not good that you try to change other’s permanent decisions based on your own temporary feelings and emotions that keep on fluctuating; If you are doing this, you are just trying to control someone just because you lack in self-control.

Another chance to those who hurt you-Yes or No?

person about to catch four dices
Chances are in your own hands- Your Choicest Lifestyle.

Sometimes, you don’t get how to treat people. It happens to all of us and many a times in our life. People hurt you, some unknowingly and slme out of choice. But let’s talk here about those who hurt you by choice. They who leave you hurting, don’t really deserve to come back to you when you are healing or healed. But what to do when they try to come back into your life indirectly? Allow them to stab at the wound again; or test your tolerance or patience; or leave them n mind your own business?
People generally know what they have done, they are either stupid or over-smart not to admit it or they grow mature enough to make it right but you can’t tell which way it’s going to be unless you put your peace of mind at stake again. You have to decide if you are left with that much tolerance level to let that hurt be brought up again, or put it to an end. It depends on you, everything, and on your energy level. If you feel drained or you have tried for too many times, then there is no need to put yourself out there and run in circles as you know that you will get no desired outcome but if you feel that you want to be there one more time, then go ahead; it’s your life and only you get to decide what you want to do with it; but keep somebody’s character in your mind. Behaviour may change but deep set character does not, because it is built over years and the neurological pathway becomes more than complex in their adopted patterns only, so before proceeding further and trying one more time ask yourself “Is that person really worth it?” “Is that person going to give me what I need??” If even in the back of your mind, the answer is no, you should prevent yourself from wasting yourself with one another attempt either of yourself or them.

Emotional or mental ditching- Ever felt ditched emotionally by people closest to you?

man in blue and brown plaid dress shirt touching his hair

That was my weakest time emotionally and you were not there.” Ever felt like quoting it or saying it out loud to anyone? Well, we all go through this kind of phases several times in our lives involving a plethora of situations and different people and their several roles in those situations.

What I am going to point out here is when and how one is supposed to show that they truly care about you and/or respect your relationship with them?? It is not when you are at your best but particularly when you are at your weakest point. Anyone can and will join you when you are in prosperity but not everyone will do so in your adversity. Sometimes, the people that seem closest to you in your cheerful and happy moments, don’t show up when you are down, that too knowingly. They do so because they don’t want to interfere or because they don’t care?? You need to figure this out very thoughtfully as well as practically. That can be anyone literally, a friend, a lover, a life partner, a relative, a colleague, or even a parent.

But you can’t blame each and everyone in your weak times for behaving indifferently for everyone does not know you very well. Only those who are always present when you have something good or positive to offer have a moral liability to support you when you can’t offer them anything but need them for emotional support. And, if they are unavailable or make excuses (for even listening to you) or act ignorant like they didn’t even get to know about your mental situation, then it’s time to say goodbye to them.

Give up on each and everyone who cannot understand you howsoever hard you try, howsoever good and understanding you become to them. Your time is also precious which is being spent on them for a long span. Your energy gets burnt by doing things for them that they won’t do for you.

Sometimes, people think that the one who is the doer in a relationship / friendship is supposed to keep doing that stuff. And when he/she stops or recedes, then he/she is generally taken as someone who has changed. No! That person has not changed over time as it is blamed but that person has started realizing his/her importance and the unstable dynamic of the relationship! One just needs to fall back and think or sometimes test his/her relations with others to know if their efforts will ever be reciprocated or not?? But it shall not be done by thinking one-sidedly only. The other person might have genuine problems in life due to which they could not help. For knowing that, it’s better to talk to each-other openly about the issues that are affecting the relation on psychological grounds.

woman holding disposable lighter

TRUST-What is required to build it?

Don’t you trust me?” The question often asked to us by someone whom we ask for an explanation for their words or actions. I know that trust is instinctual for most of the people; something that one acknowledges automatically. But, what if someone has serious trust issues in general? I mean, if there is someone who just cannot trust anyone, how would you make that person trust you? Certainly not by pressuring or manipulating like throwing tantrums or accusing that person that he/she has irrational trust issues. NO! Really, a Big No for these ways.

The only way to make someone trust you who has trust issues naturally or due to some past experiences is to be honest with him/her. It might take some extra efforts from your side. You also might have to give them proofs or explanations for your words or actions every single time. You just have to keep calm upon their asking for the proofs or explanations, still, if they can’t trust you, then let it be like that. Don’t get mad at them. They are not doing it intentionally. They are also suffering from mental frustration. But it does not mean that you too have to go through the same kind of frustration or retaliate with the same kind of accusation like “I also don’t trust you”. Try and be polite and stay honest without getting offended upon asking for the explanations.

This will save a lot of time and mental exhaustion for both of you. Over time, they will start trusting you. Believe me, they will !! Because every person needs some adjustment from others in relationships of any kind and if you value them, you would not be dishonest with them in the first place. So, what’s the deal in giving proof for your honesty too. Yes, you may not like or maybe hate to be distrusted but understand that trusting someone may be a pivotal issue for them. They might have gone through certain experiences in which they trusted others and it ended up in shattering or breaking them.

If you think that enforcing them to believe you is going to work. It will not ! Rather they would feel like you are trying to pressure or manipulate them which is going to back-fire and ultimately result in severe trust issues. Only honesty begets trust, nothing else.

anchor couple fingers friends
“Trust is the basis of any bond glued by honesty”-Your Choicest Lifestyle.