How to get rid of flight and fight mode? An Insight and A Sure-shot Method !

backlit balance beach cloud
Your true self is what is inside you, not how it looks on the outside or how it seems to other people. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When you are not connected to yourself completely; when you do not dig into all of your layers, test and understand them immensely, somebody may cut your outer layer and you may begin to bleed. That outer layer is always the clothing protected by fight and flight mode, which works as a shield to protect you from the outer world and the bleeding is shown in impulsive reactions in order to repel whatever is trying to reach and hurt your existence or your inner layers. When you go through similar situations which your rationality (ego) tells you that are out of its control or have the potential to or have already hurt you, then you may go into the state of hyper-active flight and fight mode. In this state, you cannot trust anything and anybody and tend to fight with anyone who can have the slightest chance of repeating the hurtful situations. Your memory sometimes begin to weaken in order to save you and sometimes it works by overly repeating the hurtful scenarios in your mind.

What can you do in such a situation? It is very difficult to leave a flight or fight mode. Here I can tell you one of the ways that always bring me back to myself (Try only if you can trust my ways). This is what you have to do- Just try to stop fighting. Do not try to fly away from the situation. Just stop the urge to fight against it. Observe if the facts or circumstances or people involved are important to you for as long as you want to, but stop the urge to fight right away. Instead, go inside, go deeper into your layers, through to your core and ask “Is it truly me who is fighting? Or are those my fears fighting?” I am almost sure that your answer will be ‘fears’. Your core carries a lot of strength and love but your love for any other person depends on how much you love yourself (that’s a whole different topic). If those people or situations could never touch your core, then believe me, they are not that important to fight with or to fight for. Your core is your a collective whole of your values and principles which you have to consider extensively to stop your fighting response. When you stay there, observe and do not fight against what’s happening, then you develop the tendency to differentiate what is important for you and what is not, which includes almost anything (behaviour of others, their presence or absence in your life, circumstances related to career etc.). As a result, you develop the tendency to ignore a lot of things and people that you know do not gel well or connect well with your core and when you develop the tendency to observe yet ignore a lot, you can realize that you have gotten out of your flight and fight mode.

Remember that this state of getting rid of flight and fight paradigm is not permanent. You may have to do it over and over again whenever you feel triggered. It consumes a lot of time and mental energy but it’s crucial for connecting with yourself and to observe detachment. For that your ego(rationality) and superego(higher principles, core values) have to work in consonance with each other but once you reach that state protect it at any cost. To protect it, remember that you don’t have to fight, rather you have remain still and let it pass by. It is very difficult when you have your old wounds that can re-open at the slightest touch, but only when you go inwards you know that nothing from the outside can really touch you when you have developed your core strength and the ability to ignore most of the outer things, people and circumstances that do not resonate with your core.

A fighter by spirit, evoked by circumstances- Motivational Monologue.

“People like you are meant to achieve great things in life. There are a very few who can bear the emotional burdens like you, of yourself alongwith that of others until you realize that there are also only a very few who can fight like you. You go through the life’s ugly events all by yourself, your self-reliance ignites your fire even the more. You can live alone for the longest time and drown in the deepest waters of sorrow alone and still shine like a fighter, although being thrown daggers at and hated, because you irritate their demons. You deny to have any sympathy from anyone, for that’s equivalent to death to you, although you want somebody to understand you why you do the way you do everything; but it’s difficult for you to trust anyone for sharing your core, so you let anyone slip through your surface and never let many touch even a second layer, making it impossible to reach the core. The day you were fighting like the worst enemy to a few and cutting many away was the day your father had died. Your that wound being irreparable was something you could not tell anyone about, not family, not any friend, sulking in grief all alone. Then came their daggers hitting right at the wrong nerves of loss of people, family and love, that too at the wrong time. But you still could not explain it, who gives explanation to the offender? You broke, for sure, but only you know how you fight when you are completely broken. Did it happen till date that you let the ugliest people by heart take advantage of your good nature? Yes, it happened, it happened a lot but only to the point you decided not to bear it anymore. And when you decide to fight, you know what you become, you break everyone who tries to break you and fight like nobody in that state you have known.”

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Photo by Frans Van Heerden on Pexels.com

“Being damsel in distress is something you never know, A Lone Knight is what you are and how you stand against any foe.”

If you want to motivate yourself in your darkest times, this is one of the ways how you can motivate yourself. You can enhance your self-talk in a positive manner. You can consider your negative circumstances that took you out of your comfort zone or shell as a catalyst to evoke a fighter’s spirit in you. You can do this every time and most importantly in the crucial or critical time, specially when people try to bring you down on purpose. You know how strong you are, you need to show it to others as well and show what kind of a fighting spirit you have, the one who will break everyone who will try to break you and the one who will eliminate anyone who will try to control you or try to make you feel any lesser than you are. You owe nobody anything. You give them anything out of love and tolerate their weakness when you want to but they should know that you do it out of choice and not out of pressure. You do what you need to do and what you want to do but not what others want to impose on you. When your core is stronger than anyone can imagine, you can stand strong for your rights and against anybody who offends you or your rights.