Change society as a whole to stop this crime-Rape.

adult alone black and white blur
It’s not abuse only of body, It’s an abuse of body, soul and violation of humanity and equality-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

“WE WANT JUSTICE !!”

“DON’T QUESTION MY OUTFIT, QUESTION THE ACT OF RAPE !!”

“NO MEANS NO !!”

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These and many such slogans seem like they have become a part of what you would call ‘Daily hassles of national life’. Why I used this somewhat irrelevant terminology here is because of the fact that it correlates to what we see in news these days; one girl-child/girl/woman gets raped and a very few number of people come out to protest against it with these slogans that have almost no effect on the deaf ears, be it that of government, parents, people in general, leave alone having it any effect on delinquent mentality possessed people. My question here is What are you doing about it practically and substantially??

  • Blaming the laws
  • Blaming the government
  • Blaming the culprit
  • Or very conveniently blaming the victim??

For a change why don’t you blame yourself ?? Yes, sounds harsh but appropriately so, blame yourself for this heinous crime incidents. You come out on roads to protest only when the incident has already happened, but hats-off to you that you still have the guts to stand against it openly; some of you put their display pictures of facebook, whatsapp and other social media sites saying “I am with (the name of the victim)” some share the so-called heart-touching posts regarding the victim (showing pity towards her??); some stay silent being very busy in their life as they are too sure that it can never happen to them or to their near and dear ones; some ignorant folks even don’t know what is happening in society, they are very satisfied in their self-contained illusionary world; and then lastly, comes the category of those misogynist people (both males and females) who are again going to blame the victim because their uneducated and prejudiced minds cannot accept that rape is a crime against a female, not by a female. Many might argue that laws must be much stricter in regard to punishments. But they don’t understand that the remedy of this crime is not in punishments. Provisions of stricter punishments might have deterrent effect on the minds of people, provided they know the punishments in the first place, but it cannot eradicate the gist of the crime.

The nucleus of the act of rape lies in the obnoxious mentality of the culprit which is the result of faulty gender-biased mentality of the society as a whole. The reasons for saying this are numerous, primarily being;

  • Patriarchal pattern of society and associated prejudices-

Indian society follows patriarchal pattern in which male leads and female is supposed to follow his decisions. The plethora of prejudices engulfed in this pattern against women is manifold, and in every aspect of life, be it preference to male-child birth, better education to male-child, choice of career, selection of life partner, during and after marriage submission the requirements of husband and in-laws, domestic violence (including marital-rape), etc. The basic right of freedom to females is shackled. They are expected to be docile and obedient in behaviour, and anyone not being so and standing for her rights is considered as someone mal-adaptive and anti-social. Apparently and ironically, the person standing against delinquency is considered a delinquent because it is against their orthodox principles. Whereas males are most ofter privileged with unlimited freedom to do anything as per their desire. Arguably, some will disagree to this contention of unlimited freedom to males but here I am referring to these words only comparatively to how much freedom is given to females. This kind of biases start corrupting the minds of a few people (males). They begin to think that they can do anything and would not be held liable for their actions against women. It forms the seed of rape in their minds.

  • Taking women as a property rather than a person- Even in the modern era, women are taken as property rather than human beings. The harsh wording here is for a reason. ‘Woman for a man’ is something that is still in the back of everyone’s mind.
  • Gender-biased moralisation by society- In our society, if the males show their sexuality, it is very common (obviously) and they use abusive or sexual terminology, again, it is completely acceptable but dare a female to do the same, it’s becomes an offence to all of her relatives’, neighbourers’ and colleagues’ cultural, social and traditional “values” like they have been abused by her for just using her freedom; even using the word sex openly sometimes feels like a crime when it comes out the mouth of a female whereas males openly use outrightly obnoxious words. I am not pressing upon that that females shall be taught to be overly abusive, but males shall be taught to be well-mannered right from the time their schooling begins at home or At Least Both Shall Be Given Equal Freedom to express themselves. This will lay the foundation of complete moralisation of society as a whole, rather than half of it.
  • Indifference and ignorance towards the crime of rape, generally- Believe it or not, some people do not even talk about rape incidents. For them, it has been a taboo since eternity. They will shun the voices of even those who can think about and against it. On an extreme end, some do not even think that it’s a crime by a man (because men are like that only, women should know their limits-Their Thinking). Whereas some people will just scroll through the newsfeed or newspaper thinking that it keeps on happening, and thus it has become their normal to know about it. The same indifferent and ignorant people would leave the victim being abused continually despite her cries for help.
  • Lack of proper sex education- It’s not only about the abusive mentality of those who commit this heinous crime but also about what leads them to that act. When somebody is shunned to think or talk about something openly or even know about it right from the childhood, then that topic ingresses inside the mind of that person to ‘explore’ it and it’s in human nature to feel high by doing things that he/she gets to do or knows about the least normally. If children be taught about sex properly at the right age (before puberty), then they would not grow as adults overly-excited about sex and the rate of this crime may drop drastically.
  • Lack of vigilance over thoughts and activities of children- People generally realize it what their children have become when they grow into adults, but how many people keep an eye over the kind of words their child uses? How many ask their kids questions to know what kind of thoughts they are having? How many parents scrutinize what their children are watching and reading on the internet and for how long? Since the inception of internet, it’s very easy to have access to any kind of information and now-a-days when social media is more active than ever in which sexual abuse and pornography are taken as something fun, what do you expect children to learn from that? Parents need to keep a close vigilance over all of their children’s activities; whom they talk to, what they talk about, how they behave and what they see or hear on the internet, otherwise they may soon be either the abuser or the abused one.

In the end, I can say that it’s all in your hands. Even one effort can make a huge difference. Don’t be ignorant and create a mishap of imbalance in society more and more.

Karl Marx’s end goal-realistic or idealistic?

The dream of a classless and stateless society and a fixed roadmap towards the fulfilment of that goal may remind one of the genius of the first Marxist Karl Marx. Surely, his interpretations of history and class struggle and social discrepancies were skewed towards economic conditions of those times but one who has studied Karl Marx in depth cannot deny that he was both a realist and a utopian idealist. A realist because he depended his theories around the industrial revolution and capitalism rising scenarios which were quite factual of his times, although he forgo a big part of human motivations like culture, communitarianism, geographical conditions and psychology and changes in those spheres with changed areas of locality or nationality, yet he was quite good at planning his theory of class struggle in the history as well as his contemporary times around two existing classes. But when he talked about and interpreted a classless and stateless society, one could easily take him as a utopian theorist because first of all, state was made for the management of the masses and if there would have been a stateless society, there would have been much despised anarchy everywhere and the discrimination that he sought to end could get elevated; secondly, the means he talked about to reach that end i.e. revolution by the proletariat against the bourgeoisie, somehow after being in power the proletariat could take the character of the bourgeoisie and would have begun to abuse that economic power in their hands, thus still the struggle would have persisted with the places exchanged between haves and have-nots where only the people would have exchanged their positions yet the characters of exploitation by haves of have-nots staying stuck that pattern only. The idea of a classless and stateless society was undoubtedly praise-worthy but in a society where the human motivation is not only determined by economic factors but also by the greed to be in power over others, it was certainly utopian because no matter how many people be egalitarian in their approach, still the forces who want to over-power others sustain in society contradictorily to the former and which can be meted out with the struggle for power since times immemorial.

A good life partner for people with high conscience- Behavioural Analytical View.

A good life partner is someone almost everybody desires at some point of his/her life. The definition of a ‘good life partner‘ is something subjective to every person, and so is about who ideally the right one. But what is that common characteristic trait or pattern that you should really seek in a life partner and how can you identify the same? Let’s discuss it here in depth-

crop elegant ethnic woman embracing male beloved

A good test of knowing who is the right one for you is that the wrong one will keep you stuck or bring your ego (rational part of consciousness) to your id level i.e. seduction, sex, jealousy, vengeance, anger, insignificant or one-sided or two or multi-faceted competition, aggression, physical neediness and desires. That actually is already in you by birth, which is later on suppressed due to development of healthy ego (rationality). It does not need to be evoked by someone else. If a person evokes any of these desires in you more than you need to, then that person is not the right one for you, because if you stay inclined to this state of mind for the majority of span of time or energy, then you can barely do something that your super-ego wants you to do.

Specially when you have developed knowledge of your own super-ego i.e. your morals, values, principles, what makes you feel guilty, conscientiousness, etc., and you live in this realm most of the time, then it is difficult for you to shift your energy towards id. Release of id is also important but the right person for you will never drive you in that state forcefully and will not behave in such a way that brings your focus (ego’s work) to id every now and then, with fluctuations in his/her own behaviour.

advice advise advisor business

This analysis is just a small portion of the whole criteria that one can set for recognizing the right partner for them. We will discuss more later on.

HEALTHY COMPETITION- What is it and how to be a healthy competitor?

battle black blur board game
“Compete with purpose, or not at all”-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

Competition is in all of us, whether one admits abour it or not. Some are openly competitive and some secretly. Some people find competition in minor things and some compete for big goals. Some people compete with one or two people and some with a block of population or in their guild.

But..How many people are healthy competitors or have healthy competition streak?? You must think about it. Let’s crack the code.

DECLARED VERSUS UNDECLARED COMPETITION-

basketball team stacking hands together
Well defined competitions are well competed-Your Choicest Lifestyle.

When a competition is clearly defined and declared to you and you have accepted it openly because it serves your desire to be a part of it, then it’s a healthy competition, be it related to any field and be it against a single person or a group or a population (population here refers to the people having one similar standard set as the dependent variable for their competition and not the whole population); but if the competition is undeclared and the person you are consciously or sub-consciously competing with has little to no idea about it or they are not on the same page with you, then your competitive streak is outrightly unhealthy and you may even prove yourself to be a fool by being in that dynamic over and over again.

PURPOSEFUL VERSUS PURPOSELESS COMPETITION-

colorful cutouts of the word purpose
Purpose helps in creating respect for competition-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When a competition serves any of your purpose in making your life better or improving your personality, then it is surely healthy but if your competitive streak hits your psyche only when you see somebody else doing something good or better than you and you feel like competing with them, although it doesn’t serve any of your desired purpose of self-improvement in the long run, then it obviously is unhealthy competition. The latter competition arises out of inner lack of worth and envy and jealousy towards the person secretly being competed with.

CONSCIOUS VERSUS SUB-CONSCIOUS/UNCONSCIOUS COMPETITION-

people running during daytime
Mindfulness (using logic) is required for respecting one’s time and energy- YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When a competition is entered into by and after putting a good amount of conscious thought and then decided upon to enter into it, it is a healthy one because this way your logical side is allowing you to invest your time and energy into it; but a competition is sub-conscious i.e. you tend to compete with people (be it anyone) out of impulse and without putting a good thought into it, then it is unhealthy for you, as first of all, you are not even recognising that you are competing; you may be imitating other(s), trying to look, feel and prove to be better than other(s) and you may have no to little idea about it. It may arise out of sub-conscious envy or jealousy or need for validation from other people to be recognised as better than the other person, although the persons you compete with may have no idea about it. This is downright wastage of both, your time and energy. One needs to be mindful and careful before entering into any kind of competition because it takes a great deal of one’s time and energy.

COMPETITION WITH ONESELF VERSUS COMPETITION WITH OTHERS-

man in black suit achieved an accomplishment
You can never win from everyone, but you can always win from your past self-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

When one competes with one’s past self and tries to improve upon one’s previously achieved standards, then it is surely healthy, be it in any realm of life-career, education, health and fitness, money, social service, etc.; but if one always or mostly competes with other(s) and never tries to figure out and improve upon oneself, then it is unhealthy because then that person is just trying to meet the standards set by the one/ones whom he/she is competing with, although that other person may not have any clue about it, or even if any other person has created competition, it is unhealthy to compete with them or join them because it is not going to serve one anything and may lead one to be exhausted in the end while fueling the energy (probably unhealthy ego) of the other (who has instigated one to compete with them).

So, how to be a healthy competitor?? Always keep in mind your purpose, be conscious and highly logical about where to put your time and energy, have a strong purpose in mind, and preferably compete with your older self while entering into any kind of competition. Life is too short to waste on unhealthy competitions and to deal with mentally unhealthy people who mostly want to drag you into their self-created unconscious competitions.

“Work Smart, Not Hard”- How much does it work?

accounting analytics balance black and white

Work smart, not hard.” I am sure that you have come across this saying at least once by now, or if you are following quotation pages on any kind of social media platforms, then more than once. But what does it exactly mean? Does smart work replace hard work everywhere and in every task? Can it do so? What if something needs to be done with high precision? What if even after having enough tools and sources of accomplishing a task smartly, you still cannot complete it without paying attention to every single detail and without putting all your efforts and time into it? Actually, only smart work works only in a few thing, that too, if its already done once by somebody else. You can really make and do something smartly by using the available gadgets and information for doing something but the hard work required to do that thing cannot always be replaced by smartness. For example, if you have to make an architectural design of a house, you can have access to and use all the applications on computer to make the design but won’t you have to use your mind and take your time to make an original design through to its perfection? You will have to. Let’s take another example, if you are preparing for an exam and you have access to all the information required to get good grades in that exam and you know what is more important and what is not so important keeping in mind the previous patterns of that exam but what if the old questions don’t repeat again? You will certainly get lower grade than expected. Here, if you would have studied the whole of the syllabus rather than considering only a good portion crucial for preparation, you could have gotten better grades. Let’s take one more example- suppose you are an artist and you know what you want to paint on a canvass, you have seen many tutorials on the internet about how to do it in simpler and easier manner, but still you will have to put all of your efforts to paint it according to your chosen style and desired end product and it may take you days, weeks, or even months for its completion.

What I am pressing upon here is it’s not always that you can choose smart work over hard work. One needs to coagulate smart work with hard with in order to excel in anything. Choosing smart work over hard work for everything may make your end product or outcome mediocre sometimes because it’s already tried and tested by somebody else. While choosing only hard work may be hectic and overly pressing on you, choosing only smart work may be too easy and useless; achieving excellence and getting exceptional results in anything needs both hard and smart work in consonance with each-other.