Silence or speaking up-which way to choose?

There will be times when you will be speaking the truth and nobody will believe you, and then, there will be times when you won’t be able to speak about it and many people would like to know about it.

Society works like this only. People have the tendency to go against your free will. They would like you to explain yourself in front of them to do something that is your right, like they are an authority over you. You really owe explanations to a few people including your family members and closest friends for a few of your actions that may affect them directly or indirectly, but what about other friends who just observe what you do and have something to say about it always even when nothing you do concerns them? What if your neighbourers or colleagues want to know the deals going on in your life with others despite you trying to keep it private from them? AND what if you want to tell something to any of them, and none of them believes what you have to say? It certainly becomes exhausting when others think that they know your truth or THE TRUTH better than you do. You try to explain yourself over and over again, everybody turns a deaf ear to you but when you get tired of all the things you go through and turn silent, then all of a sudden the same people who disregard your truth become interested in knowing why you became so silent.

black and white black and white depressed depression
Silence is not always peaceful, sometimes it kills you from the inside-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

Due to this kind of communication gap and lack of understanding and timing, people go through episodes of depression as they are unable to share their problems openly to anyone at the right time bravely (fear of judgements) but when they learn to live with those problems or solve them on their own, then others want to know about them just out of curiosity. Those who really lend an ear do not do it out of curiosity but for understanding the other person but those people are rare to find. A person may shut out and shut down due to fear of being misunderstood or misjudged and it may lead to further misunderstandings with even those people and at those place where they were never meant to happen.

What to do when you have something to say and you feel like you have lost your voice as you think that nobody is going to believe you? PLEASE, SPEAK UP ! As simple as that.

angry woman yelling into loudspeaker on blue background
Speak up your mind, loud and crystal clear-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

I am writing this out of experience. Speak your truth whenever you feel that the opportunity is right. Do not let your anxiety stunt your mind or shun your own voice. It may lead to depression and further anxiety. Do not think that you will look or sound like a fool. Be polite first. Talk sense. Think if it’s logical and factual or not. Even if it is not, just say it. You can keep a disclaimer with whatever you express about its uncertainty as well. No need to over-think for too long that it becomes too late to talk about. Other people may take advantage of your silence and it may yield to your disadvantage in ways you cannot comprehend whilst staying silent. Talk to a trusted person first of all, then to the people who you intend to divulge your information or truth to. Be crystal clear in whatever you want to let out of your mouth. When you are completely clear about what you want to say, others can grasp it; if you keep beating around the bush, then most certainly people are not going to take it as the truth. But say it anyway. Different people have different ways, so do you but do it at the right time or you may repent later that you missed the right time and lost a lot with your silence. You have the freedom of speech, use it ! Nobody is important enough to shun you out of your truth.

love your life clipboard decor
Life is too short to not speak up your mind; when it will end, nobody will know what you had in store-YOUR CHOICEST LIFESTYLE.

TRUST-What is required to build it?

Don’t you trust me?” The question often asked to us by someone whom we ask for an explanation for their words or actions. I know that trust is instinctual for most of the people; something that one acknowledges automatically. But, what if someone has serious trust issues in general? I mean, if there is someone who just cannot trust anyone, how would you make that person trust you? Certainly not by pressuring or manipulating like throwing tantrums or accusing that person that he/she has irrational trust issues. NO! Really, a Big No for these ways.

The only way to make someone trust you who has trust issues naturally or due to some past experiences is to be honest with him/her. It might take some extra efforts from your side. You also might have to give them proofs or explanations for your words or actions every single time. You just have to keep calm upon their asking for the proofs or explanations, still, if they can’t trust you, then let it be like that. Don’t get mad at them. They are not doing it intentionally. They are also suffering from mental frustration. But it does not mean that you too have to go through the same kind of frustration or retaliate with the same kind of accusation like “I also don’t trust you”. Try and be polite and stay honest without getting offended upon asking for the explanations.

This will save a lot of time and mental exhaustion for both of you. Over time, they will start trusting you. Believe me, they will !! Because every person needs some adjustment from others in relationships of any kind and if you value them, you would not be dishonest with them in the first place. So, what’s the deal in giving proof for your honesty too. Yes, you may not like or maybe hate to be distrusted but understand that trusting someone may be a pivotal issue for them. They might have gone through certain experiences in which they trusted others and it ended up in shattering or breaking them.

If you think that enforcing them to believe you is going to work. It will not ! Rather they would feel like you are trying to pressure or manipulate them which is going to back-fire and ultimately result in severe trust issues. Only honesty begets trust, nothing else.

anchor couple fingers friends
“Trust is the basis of any bond glued by honesty”-Your Choicest Lifestyle.